Why I've stopped being hard on myself about enjoying TIKTOK

I have a small confession: I enjoy scrolling through TikTok. I set a time limit when I start of ten (okay, sometimes it's fifteen) minutes as I'm well aware of the time thief it can be. I watch things that inspire me educate me, uplift me and make me laugh. So, why do I feel slightly self-conscious when I admit it?

One of my favourite TikTokers is @hayleygeorgiamorris who plays the part of her brain as well as herself in skits that are so relatable.

‘Morning,’ she says to her brain, waking and stretching in bed.

‘We’re staying here,’ replies Brain.

‘It’s not your decision to make. We have to get up.’

‘Why though?’ complains Brain. ‘We get up early every day.’

‘Yeah, because we have stuff to do.’

‘But DO we?’ whines Brain.

‘Yes, we do.’

‘I feel like you keep making stuff up for us to do every day.’

And it goes on until she says to her brain, ‘OK, fine. We’ll stay in bed’ and snuggles down.

After a short pause, Brain whispers, ‘You’re sooo lazy.’

It's the type of internal battle that I know many of us will be able to relate to. When our inner critic and our inner mentor take each other to task we can end up confused, and usually our critic will win as we fight feelings of not being able to make decisions and know what to do for the best. I often wonder why our inner critic has the loudest voice. It's mischief-making at best and seriously self-harming at worst. I know we can focus on the things we say and do that aren't us at our best. And the problem is that we are always the only person that is present to witness every single occurrence of them. But we're also there every time we do something good. Which is more often. So why do some of us find it so hard to be pleased with ourselves more? Maybe it's because we're taught about humility, but I’m not suggesting telling anyone who will listen how great we are. Just allowing ourselves a little more internal acknowledgement.

I remember a conversation with someone who was finding it impossible to feel proud about a thing she’d done. She told me that her parents had instilled in her that 'pride comes before a fall’. That felt quite sad. In coaching, a question I sometimes use is 'what would you say to a friend who came to you with this problem?’ The advice is usually sage and always kind. It allows us to recognise that we often don't treat ourselves with the same level of kindness.

So, how could you show yourself some more kindness? Is there something you could forgive yourself for? Or could you change feeling guilty about being in a fortunate position to being grateful? Or maybe you do deserve a lie-in one morning because you've been working hard, so well done you.

Or maybe you don't have to feel that you're bad because you've spent ten minutes looking through TikTok. Or even fifteen.